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Hi, I am an alien and I'm checking for some chicks in your phonebook.. Searching.. Searching.. Searching.. Sorry, no chicks found! Gay? Conclusion: You Are Gay!

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.

I am a killer. I kill people for money. But, you are my friend. I will kill you 4 nothing!

WHO regrets to inform you that your birth was an accident. Please report to your  nearest hospital to be put down. We apologies for any inconvenience.

Hello too the owner of the cell-phone with no. +91........Your SIM-card is been cracked open by Hacker's, and will destroy your phone within 24 hours, from NOW!

When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

My husband and I cannot decide... a dog or a child.. do we ruin our carpet or our life?

We will now upgrade your brain, please wait............ Searching............ Searching......... still searching.............. sorry NO BRAIN found!!!

Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, Spontaneous, Good Looking, Nice Friend, Charming,
Funny, well... Enough about ME! How about you???

I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.