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Scientists in the US proved that people who do not perform well in bed and who have difficulties to come hold their mobile in their right hand

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin, they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

On the door of a toilet....Some people come here to sit and wonder, I come here to shit like thunder!

To our wives and lovers...may they never meet!

Brain detector activated, calibrating, now searching.........still searching..........still searching.......no brain found.

One day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy Dancing naked. I said to the guy, 'Hey buddy, why are you doing that?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'

One day a man inserted an 'advert' in the local classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

My girlfriend ran off with my best friend after a relationship of four years....Oh how I miss my friend.

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.